57 days left! (ignore the date above, i started this on the 22nd & just finished it, but the days left are from today)

Wow, that number seems very small! When i first decided to go on this trip there was a little over 100 days til the trip... it seemed like it was SOO far away & now it feels like it's quickly approaching.

Last Wednesday I spent all day with a Burmese family... William & Bawi Len. Bawi Len had a doctors appointment in the morning so we went to that, then after went to this AMAZING grocery store full of asian food (needless to say I know where i'll be shopping from now on!) & after that we just hung out at their house. There were times when they were talking to me that I just couldn't help but tear up, i can't even describe it... it's a love that I didn't know existed. I had no idea it was possible to love a group of people so much, people that I don't even know that are still in Burma & Thailand... how can i just have this endless love for them? 

William is a VERY smart man, he is a pastor & is currently back at school... he is a pastor at a Burmese church here & he's just one of those people you know KNOWS God. He has stood up against the Burmese government for God, he has proclaimed his religion in times when most of us would run... he is just an amazing man. William has a plan... his plan is to get all the names & addresses of all the Buddhist Burmese people in San Diego & he wants to share his religion with them. He has plans of building a huge Burmese church. The first part of his plan is aid... giving aid to the new families, giving them love so that when they ask why we help we can share God's love with them. It's just amazing that he has this plan & he's so passionate about it.. he's an amazing man.

This weekend we had some pretty intensive Thailand training... 3-10 on Friday night, 7-5 on Saturday... needless to say there were a lot of emotions all weekend. Saturday night I literally broke down in tears... why is God blessing me with this opportunity? I fall so short of His glory EVERY DAY & yet He still pours blessings out upon me constantly. It amazes me & it's so overwhelming. I can't wait to go over there & pour God's love out on these little Karen villagers.

I have decided to stay in Thailand for 4 weeks now instead of the original 2 weeks. I will be leaving December 25th & coming home January 22nd. Once again another blessing from God, giving me 4 weeks with them instead of 2... 2 more weeks to just show these villagers love. So the first 2 weeks we will be doing the construction of the medical clinic, then most of the team leaves on January 9th & 3 of us girls stay with the rest of the full time missionaries. For the remainder of the trip we will be traveling from the city to the village a few times... doing VBS in the village school & working on the student sponsorship program in the ITDP office in the city. 

There is SOO much to do to prepare! I really need to start getting my shots! & there are a lot of things that I need to get.. things like rip stop pants & a hiking backpack... the list goes on & on...ive also been getting very good at the Karen language. :)

Thank you all for your constant love & support... you'll never know how much it means to me!  

76 days left

Love each other.

Unite for freedom, justice & peace.

Forgive & don't hate each other.

Pray with faith,

act with courage.

Never surrender.

IMPORTANT!!!!

Meet my main Karen Family... This is the family that I meet with every wednesday & eat dinner with, pick up for church on Sundays & really just focus on. (We have a Karen adoption type system set up at church where every Karen family that we "sponsor" has an American family) Well Darren, Titus & I (the two guys) are responsible for this family. They are seriously the loves of my life (well all the Karen are, but they hold a very special place in my heart) The dads name is Poe Jue & the moms name is Gyi Pyit... the three girls are Sher Eh Moo (dress on the left), Paw May (brown shirt) & Paw Tha Lay (the one to the right of me..p.s. she was sick thats why shes not smiling). This family has had some difficulties adjusting to life in America.. both parents get sick very frequently which is hard on the family. The parents go to ESL classes all week but due to their ages it's taking them a bit longer to pick up the language, the girls are also struggling in school. Both of the parents haven't been able to get jobs due to the language barrier, but thats another problem for a different day. They are the sweetest family ever & it breaks my heart to see them struggling.

Tonight after dinner I came back to my phone & had several missed calls from them, I called them back & it turns out they had received a 3 day eviction notice. Let me rewind a little... when Catholic Charities bring them over here they pay their rent & support them for 8 months, after that if they still haven't found a job they are placed on welfare. So their support ran out this month, meanwhile C.C. didn't schedule their welfare meeting until the 8th (rent is due on the 3rd). Now they are terrified they are going to get kicked out of their apartments due to C.C.'s slip up... we know they won't because we'll get it taken care of tomorrow with C.C, but they are still very nervous. So what we really need are prayers. Prayers that they won't worry & will get some sleep tonight, prayers for their language development to speed up, prayers for job openings, prayers for the girls schooling, & most importantly prayers for their health & safety. 

Some of the other Karen have moved to other states due to the fact that there are no jobs out here. There are states like kansas & alabama that have guaranteed jobs waiting for them in fields & other various places & many families have taken that route. My biggest fear is this family will decide to move & that is out of my own selfishness. I want them to be happy & I don't feel like they are happy here, I don't think I would be happy either if I was in their situation. No matter what I do I can't fix their situation... I look online for jobs every day for them, I teach them english constantly, I help them with their homework & I'm constantly taking them to the doctors... but nothing seems to be making anything better. Maybe a different state would be the best for them, I would just really really really hate to see them go. (I tear up just thinking about it) I've spent so much time with this family & can't imagine not going over there every wednesday or seeing them all week long. 

So basically we need prayers! Not only for this family but there are a few other families in similar situations. The biggest concern is jobs, that would fix A LOT of problems. With jobs we need language & the older ones are REALLY having troubles picking it up quickly. So please keep the Karen in your prayers this week... i'll keep you guys updated. Thanks. Love you all.

:)

So this has NOTHING to do with my trip but it's a story that i'm really excited about. Especially after the discouragement from last night...

I was walking to the aztec market after my first class this morning (about 9:20ish) & i passed a wall that always has a bunch of signs & posters. Well one of the signs said "God hates you" all over it & there were then a few stickers placed over the words hate that said "loves." This was a huge sign & the words were very large, i'm not sure whether or not the sign was put up & then someone came & covered it with stickers or if the words "hate" were part of the idea. Either way it just was a horrible sign that needed to be removed. I went & got my water, passed the sign again & sat reading my new missions book. I read a little, prayed a little & watched as people passed... wondering what their stories were, wondering if they were saved. After finishing my pop tart i decided to say one last prayer & head to the library. So at about 10:15 i prayed, & in that prayer i prayed the sign would get taken down. 10:30ish i finished my prayer, got up & started heading towards the library... i passed the wall with the signs & realized THE SIGN WAS GONE! Completely gone! There was already a completely different sign up in it's place, it was like it had never been there!!! God answered my prayer before i could even say amen!!!

What a great morning!!! I had time to pray before school this morning (normally i'm rushing out the door) & i had time to pray in between classes & it's just been such a great morning so far. It's amazing how simply taking that 5 minutes to pray makes such a difference!

discouragement.

God wouldn't give me a heart for missions with no means to go right?

I guess this is part of the whole process... putting all your trust in him & just knowing that the money will come in.  Tonight I found out that I have $200 in my funds (THANK YOU UNCLE DAVE & GRANDPA DUANE & GRANDMA JOLENE!) I have $1600 due in 15 days... maybe this whole thing was a bad idea.

I've been so excited about the whole trip that i haven't really even thought twice about the money... everything seemed to be flowing perfectly. My passport came in 9 days, I got my support letters sent out quickly & i've just been pumped. I've been reading about missionaries for the last weeks & my heart just breaks more & more every day for the world. I've found myself so upset that I still have two years of school left, there's nothing I want to do more than just serve in the places that need it the most. The places that are being persecuted daily, the places that don't have clean water, the places that don't know anything about God... these are the places that burden my heart ALL day long. I often wonder what i'm doing wasting my time in class when there are such bigger needs. My tuition could do wonders in a place like Africa or India... 

However, I find encouragement when I think about past missionaries... William Carey, Mary Slessor, Hudson Taylor, Adoniram Judson, John Paton... ALL of these missionaries faced tremendous amounts of hardship. 

"God uses men who are weak & feeble enough to lean on him" -Hudson Taylor

How ridiculous of me to be concerned about such a little thing like money. I knew there would be trials, it's part of the missions field... it's all about knowing that God will provide exactly what you need at the PERFECT time. It cracks me up that sometimes I try to limit God to MY timeline, I have to remind myself quite frequently that my timing is NOTHING & God's is EVERYTHING.  I know that God will provide, and yet I still doubt at times (for example... 5 minutes ago!) I was in tears when I was on the phone with Angie... why?!! Why do I doubt God? It's the biggest battle I have with my flesh & it drives me crazy!!!! 

Last Friday night I was babysitting & all the kids were sleeping & I was able to spend a solid 3 hours with my bible. (For those of you who know my schedule you know how rare that is!) It was one of the best nights i've had in SUCH a longg time... just getting back to the core & regrounding myself with God's word. I wish I had more nights like that, nights where I can just read my bible & listen to sermons... but I can't complain... God has blessed me with amazing opportunities that continually keep my life busy! 

Well, this has been the first discouraging thing so far & I already feel better about it! I just have to stay persistent in prayer & strong in faith... God will provide, He always does.

Thank you all for your constant love & support.. it keeps me going on nights like these. Love you all.

In Him,

Nicole

"Let my heart be broken by the things that break God's heart."- Bob Pierce.