LAX

Well here we are... 7:42pm, December 27th.... Still in LA.

Got on the plane last night & they told us to wait a little bit because the computer that went to the gas gage wasn't working. A little bit turned into a very long & HOT (no AC) wait & finally after 3 hours they informed us they would be putting us in hotels for the night. The part that they needed had to be flown in from Bangkok so we had to wait ALL day at the hotel, Thai airlines was definitely good to us though & gave us vouchers for breakfast, lunch & dinner. So after a long day of waiting, we are back at LAX for the second attempt. Dan found us another flight once we get to Bangkok & so after our long 18 hour flight we will now have an 11 hour layover before we can fly to Chiang Mae. But God is great & his timing is PERFECT!

ON MY WAY TO LAX!!!

Leaving for LAX right now!!!!!!

in 7 hours i will be in the air!!!

it's time to GO!!!!

thank you all for your constant love & support. it's so much easier going abroad knowing that i have such a great support system back home!!! thank you for all your prayers while i'm gone, i am praying for your all!!! hopefully ill get a chance to update this when i arrive & a few times while im there. love you all.

here's the video that we will be showing in the village.

Next stop... Thailand!!

12 days left!

Thailand Video

Oh boy! 12 days is so soon! I'm just about done shopping for everything I need, which is a HUGE relief. I received all my shots and I'm currently taking my Typhoid pills (I have 2 left until i'm protected). My typhoid pills are live pills & it's such a weird feeling knowing that i'm taking a pill that is alive! The first day they made me REALLY sick, I just took the second one & I'm starting to feel a little funny again. My doctor gave me a whole bunch of medicine for "just in case" situations, and I went and bought a whole bunch of other medicine.

The  video above is one that was shown at church today that Dan made. It's pictures of previous trips and definitely gets me very excited about going! (Note, his name is Dan LAMM, not Dan LAMB) I'm starting to get really emotional when anyone brings up Thailand, I can't watch the above video without getting teary eyed and when I think about it I start tearing up. It's finally happening, this long anticipated wait is almost over & in 12 days I will be on a plane to Thailand (I totally just got really huge goosebumps!). Today I switched up my ESL class and had my students teach me Karen. They enjoyed being the teachers & more importantly, I enjoyed the crash course in the Karen language. 

It's amazing how everything has fallen into place perfectly this whole time. Any time I'm worried about ANYTHING, that fear instantly gets put out by something happening. This whole journey before the journey has been so great but i'm still extremely anxious to go!

this made me smile...

"God is as committed to you as He is to Jesus; and will do for you what He did for Jesus."- Joe Boatwright

15 days left!?!??!

oh boy! 15 days left!!!! that number is so insanely small. it makes me SO excited, yet terrified at the same time. I got my shots yesterday, all by myself & didn't cry!! I just had to keep in mind why I was getting the shots & i was fine! It's so crazy to think that in 15 days I will be getting on a plane, flying 18 hours to a different country, then driving 6 hours into the jungle to stay there for 4 weeks! No hot water, no electricity, no warm beds, nothing!! But I somehow get really excited when I think about those things. I know I'm going to get tested constantly & I'm always going to have to be putting in 120% every hour of the day. I know there are going to be times when I get homesick and will crave simple things like french fries and a warm house. But i've been working on staying focused on why I'm going. I'm not going so I can check it off a list of experiences, i'm not going so I can have some crazy adventure, I'm going because these villagers need to know about God. They need to know that there are people all over the world who love them & are constantly praying for them & above all they need to know that there's someone who created them & He knows every detail about them & still loves them unconditionally. What an amazing message I get to go share!!!! I get to not only share this amazing message but I get to simply love these villagers and embrace our time together & build relationships. I get the privilege of being involved in building a medical clinic... a place they can now take their sick children, a place that offers help, hope & love. I can't wait to wake up in the morning freezing & being able to walk outside of my hut and gather around the fire with the villagers, I can't wait to show my hut family pictures of my family at home, I can't wait to look at a bowl of food & realize that I somehow need to finish a bowl of the nastiest looking thing i've ever seen. All of these little details make me so excited & so nervous at the same time. But God is strong & He has plans & I can't wait to be a part of this whole thing! &  I can't wait til I can come home & share with you guys!!!! 

Thank you uncle dave!!!!

Went into the Thailand meeting today not really knowing what to expect & a little skeptical of my finances.... came to find the best surprise ever when i got my fund sheet!!! I had a $2,000 check sent in from my uncle dave!!! Words can't even describe how grateful I am, without that check I would've pulled out from the trip tonight.. thank you sooo much uncle dave! & thanks so much to all those who donated!!! love you all & couldn't have done it without you guys.

To the desperate eyes & the reaching hands

To the suffering & the lean

To the ones the world has cast aside

Where you want me I will be

I will go Lord send me

To the world

To the lost

To the poor & the hungry

Take everything I am

Clay within your hands

I will go

Let me not be blind with privilege

Give me eyes to seek the pain

Let the blessing you've poured out on me

Not be spent on me in vain

Let this life be used for change

I wanna live for you

Go where you lead me

I wanna follow you

Send me!

:)

My Battle Buddy

Erika!!! i love her to death! we are COMPLETE opposites so we balance each other out perfectly! She's gonna be the one pushing me through in Thailand & i'm SOO excited because she just decided to stay longer with me! Well she's staying for 3 weeks, so i'll only be there a week without her!!!

45 days!!!

Thailand Team 2008! Well, not the whole team. There are a few missing (about 8) who don't go to my church...

45 days is SOOOOOO soon! seriously! I cant even start to wrap my head around how quickly this is coming up. I still REALLLLLY need to get my shots. I did get my flu shot (I cheated though & got the nasal kind).. but i have like a million more to get! I get more anxious as it gets closer... this time in one month i'll almost be done with finals (oh wow! i just realized the semester is almost over!) & i'll be spending the last 10 days getting ready. 

I can't even express how excited I am to go. I wish I had more to say, I'll probably update after the meeting on Wednesday when I know a little bit more about our current situation. Here are some prayer requests though...

1. Finances! Not only for myself but for all the team members.

2. Finances for the medical clinic. Its a $20,000 project, we have $7,000 raised. (But God will provide that... after all He is rich!)

3.  Our hearts to be in the right place, that everything we do will be Christ-centered, for us to be bright lights in a place of darkness.. so bright that even the thickest blanket could've keep the place dark.. 

Thank you all for your constant support. I love you. 

57 days left! (ignore the date above, i started this on the 22nd & just finished it, but the days left are from today)

Wow, that number seems very small! When i first decided to go on this trip there was a little over 100 days til the trip... it seemed like it was SOO far away & now it feels like it's quickly approaching.

Last Wednesday I spent all day with a Burmese family... William & Bawi Len. Bawi Len had a doctors appointment in the morning so we went to that, then after went to this AMAZING grocery store full of asian food (needless to say I know where i'll be shopping from now on!) & after that we just hung out at their house. There were times when they were talking to me that I just couldn't help but tear up, i can't even describe it... it's a love that I didn't know existed. I had no idea it was possible to love a group of people so much, people that I don't even know that are still in Burma & Thailand... how can i just have this endless love for them? 

William is a VERY smart man, he is a pastor & is currently back at school... he is a pastor at a Burmese church here & he's just one of those people you know KNOWS God. He has stood up against the Burmese government for God, he has proclaimed his religion in times when most of us would run... he is just an amazing man. William has a plan... his plan is to get all the names & addresses of all the Buddhist Burmese people in San Diego & he wants to share his religion with them. He has plans of building a huge Burmese church. The first part of his plan is aid... giving aid to the new families, giving them love so that when they ask why we help we can share God's love with them. It's just amazing that he has this plan & he's so passionate about it.. he's an amazing man.

This weekend we had some pretty intensive Thailand training... 3-10 on Friday night, 7-5 on Saturday... needless to say there were a lot of emotions all weekend. Saturday night I literally broke down in tears... why is God blessing me with this opportunity? I fall so short of His glory EVERY DAY & yet He still pours blessings out upon me constantly. It amazes me & it's so overwhelming. I can't wait to go over there & pour God's love out on these little Karen villagers.

I have decided to stay in Thailand for 4 weeks now instead of the original 2 weeks. I will be leaving December 25th & coming home January 22nd. Once again another blessing from God, giving me 4 weeks with them instead of 2... 2 more weeks to just show these villagers love. So the first 2 weeks we will be doing the construction of the medical clinic, then most of the team leaves on January 9th & 3 of us girls stay with the rest of the full time missionaries. For the remainder of the trip we will be traveling from the city to the village a few times... doing VBS in the village school & working on the student sponsorship program in the ITDP office in the city. 

There is SOO much to do to prepare! I really need to start getting my shots! & there are a lot of things that I need to get.. things like rip stop pants & a hiking backpack... the list goes on & on...ive also been getting very good at the Karen language. :)

Thank you all for your constant love & support... you'll never know how much it means to me!  

76 days left

Love each other.

Unite for freedom, justice & peace.

Forgive & don't hate each other.

Pray with faith,

act with courage.

Never surrender.

IMPORTANT!!!!

Meet my main Karen Family... This is the family that I meet with every wednesday & eat dinner with, pick up for church on Sundays & really just focus on. (We have a Karen adoption type system set up at church where every Karen family that we "sponsor" has an American family) Well Darren, Titus & I (the two guys) are responsible for this family. They are seriously the loves of my life (well all the Karen are, but they hold a very special place in my heart) The dads name is Poe Jue & the moms name is Gyi Pyit... the three girls are Sher Eh Moo (dress on the left), Paw May (brown shirt) & Paw Tha Lay (the one to the right of me..p.s. she was sick thats why shes not smiling). This family has had some difficulties adjusting to life in America.. both parents get sick very frequently which is hard on the family. The parents go to ESL classes all week but due to their ages it's taking them a bit longer to pick up the language, the girls are also struggling in school. Both of the parents haven't been able to get jobs due to the language barrier, but thats another problem for a different day. They are the sweetest family ever & it breaks my heart to see them struggling.

Tonight after dinner I came back to my phone & had several missed calls from them, I called them back & it turns out they had received a 3 day eviction notice. Let me rewind a little... when Catholic Charities bring them over here they pay their rent & support them for 8 months, after that if they still haven't found a job they are placed on welfare. So their support ran out this month, meanwhile C.C. didn't schedule their welfare meeting until the 8th (rent is due on the 3rd). Now they are terrified they are going to get kicked out of their apartments due to C.C.'s slip up... we know they won't because we'll get it taken care of tomorrow with C.C, but they are still very nervous. So what we really need are prayers. Prayers that they won't worry & will get some sleep tonight, prayers for their language development to speed up, prayers for job openings, prayers for the girls schooling, & most importantly prayers for their health & safety. 

Some of the other Karen have moved to other states due to the fact that there are no jobs out here. There are states like kansas & alabama that have guaranteed jobs waiting for them in fields & other various places & many families have taken that route. My biggest fear is this family will decide to move & that is out of my own selfishness. I want them to be happy & I don't feel like they are happy here, I don't think I would be happy either if I was in their situation. No matter what I do I can't fix their situation... I look online for jobs every day for them, I teach them english constantly, I help them with their homework & I'm constantly taking them to the doctors... but nothing seems to be making anything better. Maybe a different state would be the best for them, I would just really really really hate to see them go. (I tear up just thinking about it) I've spent so much time with this family & can't imagine not going over there every wednesday or seeing them all week long. 

So basically we need prayers! Not only for this family but there are a few other families in similar situations. The biggest concern is jobs, that would fix A LOT of problems. With jobs we need language & the older ones are REALLY having troubles picking it up quickly. So please keep the Karen in your prayers this week... i'll keep you guys updated. Thanks. Love you all.

:)

So this has NOTHING to do with my trip but it's a story that i'm really excited about. Especially after the discouragement from last night...

I was walking to the aztec market after my first class this morning (about 9:20ish) & i passed a wall that always has a bunch of signs & posters. Well one of the signs said "God hates you" all over it & there were then a few stickers placed over the words hate that said "loves." This was a huge sign & the words were very large, i'm not sure whether or not the sign was put up & then someone came & covered it with stickers or if the words "hate" were part of the idea. Either way it just was a horrible sign that needed to be removed. I went & got my water, passed the sign again & sat reading my new missions book. I read a little, prayed a little & watched as people passed... wondering what their stories were, wondering if they were saved. After finishing my pop tart i decided to say one last prayer & head to the library. So at about 10:15 i prayed, & in that prayer i prayed the sign would get taken down. 10:30ish i finished my prayer, got up & started heading towards the library... i passed the wall with the signs & realized THE SIGN WAS GONE! Completely gone! There was already a completely different sign up in it's place, it was like it had never been there!!! God answered my prayer before i could even say amen!!!

What a great morning!!! I had time to pray before school this morning (normally i'm rushing out the door) & i had time to pray in between classes & it's just been such a great morning so far. It's amazing how simply taking that 5 minutes to pray makes such a difference!

discouragement.

God wouldn't give me a heart for missions with no means to go right?

I guess this is part of the whole process... putting all your trust in him & just knowing that the money will come in.  Tonight I found out that I have $200 in my funds (THANK YOU UNCLE DAVE & GRANDPA DUANE & GRANDMA JOLENE!) I have $1600 due in 15 days... maybe this whole thing was a bad idea.

I've been so excited about the whole trip that i haven't really even thought twice about the money... everything seemed to be flowing perfectly. My passport came in 9 days, I got my support letters sent out quickly & i've just been pumped. I've been reading about missionaries for the last weeks & my heart just breaks more & more every day for the world. I've found myself so upset that I still have two years of school left, there's nothing I want to do more than just serve in the places that need it the most. The places that are being persecuted daily, the places that don't have clean water, the places that don't know anything about God... these are the places that burden my heart ALL day long. I often wonder what i'm doing wasting my time in class when there are such bigger needs. My tuition could do wonders in a place like Africa or India... 

However, I find encouragement when I think about past missionaries... William Carey, Mary Slessor, Hudson Taylor, Adoniram Judson, John Paton... ALL of these missionaries faced tremendous amounts of hardship. 

"God uses men who are weak & feeble enough to lean on him" -Hudson Taylor

How ridiculous of me to be concerned about such a little thing like money. I knew there would be trials, it's part of the missions field... it's all about knowing that God will provide exactly what you need at the PERFECT time. It cracks me up that sometimes I try to limit God to MY timeline, I have to remind myself quite frequently that my timing is NOTHING & God's is EVERYTHING.  I know that God will provide, and yet I still doubt at times (for example... 5 minutes ago!) I was in tears when I was on the phone with Angie... why?!! Why do I doubt God? It's the biggest battle I have with my flesh & it drives me crazy!!!! 

Last Friday night I was babysitting & all the kids were sleeping & I was able to spend a solid 3 hours with my bible. (For those of you who know my schedule you know how rare that is!) It was one of the best nights i've had in SUCH a longg time... just getting back to the core & regrounding myself with God's word. I wish I had more nights like that, nights where I can just read my bible & listen to sermons... but I can't complain... God has blessed me with amazing opportunities that continually keep my life busy! 

Well, this has been the first discouraging thing so far & I already feel better about it! I just have to stay persistent in prayer & strong in faith... God will provide, He always does.

Thank you all for your constant love & support.. it keeps me going on nights like these. Love you all.

In Him,

Nicole

"Let my heart be broken by the things that break God's heart."- Bob Pierce.

PASSPORT!!

I got my passport in the mail today!!!!!  :)

Definitely Gods doing considering I JUST applied for it last Monday!! It took 9 days!!!!! 

We had our weekly Thai Team meeting tonight...  I signed a paper saying that I am going no matter what & now i'm responsible for that $3100. (Steve Jankins, the guy taking us over there, will be putting 21 plane tickets on his credit card on October 15th, so he kinda wanted to be sure that he wasn't going to get stuck with the bill) I'm trusting that God will provide the money, I didn't think twice before signing that paper. 

There are 92 days left until we leave. I have been youtubing Karen music videos today & I have found myself so anxious to be over there. I have a feeling I'm not going to want to leave. 

Thank you all for your prayers & support. 

Love you!

Amazing Grace in Karen

This video made me cry...

Karen students singing Amazing Grace

95 days left!!!

There are 95 days left until I leave for Thailand!!

(Thigh-land as Mikayla calls it.. Dad says its in between Hip-Land & Knee-Land.. haha!)

Check out the boots that I will be sporting in the jungles of Northern Thailand...

I also just found out that our beds will consist of a wooden floor where we will be inside a mosquito net so we don't get malaria.

Our showers will consist of a waterfall down the road... & our bathrooms are holes in the ground! 

Despite those things I still find myself excited!!!!!! I hope I get to ride elephants! :)

 

ESL!

We started our ESL classes today for the Karen!!!

It went great & i'm super excited!!!! I teach the 6-10 year olds & I have the cutest class by far!! 

Tomorrow I'm applying for my passport & hoping to mail out my support letters!!! 

How it began...

As I was sitting in my history class about 20 minutes ago I was thinking about this blog & the hopes I have for it. I hope this blog gives everyone the answers to the questions they've been asking, I hope it explains everything clearly & most importantly I hope this blog is a clear demonstration of Gods amazing hand at work.

Before I go into the story & details I have to say that I find it extremely difficult to write the story of the refugees & how I reached this point. I often find myself stuck on a word because there's just no word to describe a certain feeling I had/have and I find myself constantly erasing & retyping sentences in hopes that my message will get across the right way. Even when I explain the situation to people I find it hard to get it out correctly, I often worry that people will miss the point behind the story... I have a fear that people will focus on the little things that I am doing and miss all the great things that God is doing. I don't deserve the praise... I am simply doing what I feel I have been called to do, things I love to do, taking advantage of the opportunities I have been given & glorifying Him... God deserves ALL of the glory. It is through Him and Him alone that I am able to do ANY of this.

In May 2008 I started a new job as the receptionist at a paper plate manufacturing company (AJM Packaging). At that time we were hiring about 20 people & loosing around 30 people a week, days were hectic & long... it was just a constant cycle of new hire paper work & termination paper work. My mom moved to Idaho in the beginning of June & shortly after that we finally had reached a point where we no longer had to hire people because the employees were starting to "stick." About a day after we decided we didn't need anymore workers God sent 2 very important people to my desk... Dan & Ko Ko. Dan asked if there were any available job openings & claimed that he had the "perfect people" for the job, he told me he had Karen (pronounced ca-ren) refugees from Thailand who just arrived to America & were in dire need of jobs. He told me they were hard workers, would keep to themselves, always be on time & never cause any trouble... I told him that unfortunately we were done hiring but I would see what I could do. I explained the situation to the new lady in charge & asked if we could try some out, after a lot of convincing she finally agreed and we called in 4 Karen... Ko Ko, Nue Nue, Sate Sate & Moo Khot! We told Dan we would start with these 4 & see how it goes, if it worked out well then we could eventually hire more. A week after hiring those four Karen I left for Colorado with my family, I called work about every other day & checked my email regularly to make sure everything was going ok with them. Even without knowing their story or anything about where they were from I felt a wierdly strong connection to them. While I was on vacation Dan sent me a sermon by John Piper about a missionary named Adoniram Judson, but before listening to the sermon I felt it was only appropriate to learn a little about the Karen. I had NO IDEA my life was about to change forever...

I sat on the computer for at least an hour researching the Karen & Burma. The pictures, the stories, the articles, the videos... I searched for every little detail I possibly could & every bit of information I found broke my heart a little more. I didn't know my heart was capable of hurting so badly, my whole body ached due to this burden that was placed upon my heart. Before reading anymore of this I want everyone to read this article from Free Burma Rangers, an organization that sneaks into Burma & gives medical attention to those in need. That's a quick (very short) overview of the situation going on in Burma. The night I found all this out I couldn't sleep. I had to leave the room Kaleena & Mikayla were sleeping in because I didn't want my tossing & turning to wake them up, I didn't want them to hear my sniffles & know I was crying. I went to the computer & just kept researching, I researched until the morning & just tried to make sense of everything I had discovered. I tried to sleep & literally just tossed & turned, I cried for a long while & just spent a good portion of the night praying for these people.  My heart was heavy & I knew the minute I got back to San Diego I had to become involved with helping. 

I got home, went to their church (Grace Church) on Sunday & fell in love with not only the Karen but also the people at the church. It's a little congregation, very traditional & I just absolutely love it. Dans dad is the Pastor (Steve Lamm), his words and sermons continue to amaze me every Sunday. Grace is filled with amazing people who aren't afraid to be convicted, they aren't afraid of the Word, their love for Christ just shines in everything they do. There are about 40 Karen at the church & after spending 5 minutes with them I knew it was something I needed to do. Suddenly the Karen became my priority, everything that I thought was important was thrown out the window & it was so clear that this opportunity came straight from God. I couldn't look away, I couldn't focus on anything... I thought about the Karen 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I constantly worried about them, I was always thinking of ways to help, the Karen became my number one focus within a matter of minutes. 

Before meeting the Karen I was going to school to get my masters & do something in social work.. I thought I was meant to help young children in abused families. I had a plan & I was set on it... I was set on my Bachelors in 4 years & the 1 year Masters program, that was my plan. Now? Now I laugh that I ever tried to plan my life, God has something SO much bigger in store for me, something I couldn't have ever dreamed of. The Karen have completely changed my life... they've made me a better person, they affected every single aspect of my daily routines, they woke me up from this self absorbed life I was living. Never in a million years would I have ever imagined I had such a heart for missions & going abroad, but it's all I want to do now. I can't even imagine staying in the U.S... I can't wait for school to be done so I can go & help & save & spread the Word. 

I wish everyone could meet the Karen, I wish everyone could have that privilege. They are an amazing group of people & I LOVE every minute I spend with them. Sometimes it gets frustrating & overwhelming, sometimes I feel like this whole thing is so much bigger than I am & I can't do it. Sometimes I think I need a break & get tired but then I remember this quote from church one Sunday...

"There's no breaks in this life from our obligations, REST WILL COME IN HEAVEN. For now we serve Him and that service is good and satisfying." -Steve Lamm

I'm not saying the Karen are an obligation, they are definitely a blessing & a gift from God, but when I start feeling tired I remember that rest will indeed come in Heaven. While I'm here my only purpose is to serve Him & glorify Him. To live every day for Him & show the world His love, to love unconditionally and do my duty. 

God has blessed me with something I can't even comprehend. I can't give enough praises, I can't give enough glory... God is good! No, God is great! I can't wait to see what else is in store, what else God has planned. 

Now onto the actual trip....

We will be leaving LAX on December 26th, 2008... the day after Christmas. We will be in Thailand for 2 weeks building a medical clinic for the people in the villages. The plans are done, the design is done & once the money is raised the supplies will be in Thailand waiting for us! The Thailand group has gone to Thailand several times over the past few years & have finished a water project & have built a school! God is doing great things through this team & I am so blessed & privileged to be a part of it! We will be staying in a hotel in downtown Chiang Mai but during the day will be building the clinic in Ma Oh Ja (about 20 miles from Burma). To see previous Thailand trips you can visit Dan's Blog. 

I will give more details on the trip in another blog, I'm pretty sure this was information overload. Hopefully this answered some questions, please let me know if there are more I can answer.

I will be sending out support letters on Monday (hopefully) with more details! :) Thank you all for your continuous support from day 1!

All my love,

Nicole

1st blog!

It is 1:26pm on Wednesday September 11th... less than 24 hours ago I got invited to Thailand & accepted! I will be leaving on December 26th... that is only 15 weeks away! (105 days, but hey who's counting?) As I've been going through the day at school Thailand is literally all I can think about, I can't concentrate on anything but this trip. I decided to create this blog so that everyone can stay informed about my trip... I will write in it starting now & continue to keep everyone updated as I prepare for the trip, write from Thailand & reflect on the trip after...I will get some pictures up & that way everyone can stay connected. I know this is the first of many trips so this will just be an ongoing blog... one Thailand trip to the next.

I'm sure there are TONS of questions & I will get on here hopefully later tonight to give the detailed story & all the little details about the trip.

There's SO much to do in these next weeks... I should probably start with getting my PASSPORT!!! (I'm doing that on Monday & i'm just going to go ahead & pay the extra cost of getting it express... I definitely don't want to be stressing about my passport on December 25th!

I also need to get out support letters... the trip for each student costs $3,100 & the actual project itself costs about $20,000. A lot of money needs to be raised but we all know that God will provide.... there's no doubt about that one! He is good!!!

Besides financial support we are most importantly going to need a lot of prayer support! We are fully aware of the trials that will happen before & during the trip... we know we are going to have some pretty tough battles with satan, we know there are going to be set backs & we know that plans will have to be flexible... but we are more than ready & willing to fight!!!

I'm off to class now, but tonight I will definitely give the longer explanation!!

In Him,
Nicole